How To Deliver Constructive Criticism

It goes without saying, as a leader, you’ll need to deliver criticism. It’s inevitable. The way you do it, though, makes all the difference. Go in all guns blazing, and you risk turning people right off, or worse, lighting their fuse in all the wrong ways. Go in with accountability only, and you’ll end up demoralising your team, breaking trust, and watching productivity slide downhill.

The real skill lies in taking a fair approach, one where Emotional Assertiveness leads the way. It’s about being honest without being harsh, firm without being cold, and compassionate without watering down your message. When done right, constructive criticism builds trust, strengthens respect, and actually delivers results.

Avoiding it altogether doesn’t work either. If you never address the root cause, you’re just covering cracks in the wall, it might look fine for now, but the problem will keep resurfacing until you deal with it properly.

Even Robert Burns had something to say about critics (a bit sharper than we’d recommend, but still a good reminder):

“Critics! Those cut-throat bandits in the paths of fame.”

We’re not aiming to be “cut-throat bandits,” but it’s a good warning of what can happen when criticism turns cruel instead of constructive.

The Flo Right Formula for Constructive Criticism

(Developed by Professor John Parr at Emotional Assertiveness International)

Delivering constructive criticism isn’t about sugar-coating, finger-pointing, or tiptoeing. It’s about clarity, honesty, and care in equal measure. Here’s the Flo Right Formula for getting it right:

1. Begin with positive recognition

Start by acknowledging something genuine and positive. It sets the tone and shows that you see the full picture, not just the problem.
Example: “I really appreciate how quickly you’ve taken on the new client work.”

Why?

Because people are more open to feedback when they feel valued. You’re not softening the blow, you’re building trust.

2. Avoid criticising the individual – focus on the output or behaviour

When you make it personal (“you always do this wrong”), you step straight into the drama triangle, hello tension, defensiveness, and resentment. Focus on the output instead.
Example:

• Unhelpful: “You’re careless with details.”

• Better: “The report had a few formatting errors that made it harder to read.”

Keeping it about the work allows both parties to stay focused on growth, not blame.

3. Be specific

“Do better next time” is about as useful as a chocolate teapot. Be clear and precise so the person knows exactly what to change.
Example: “On slide 3, the figures for Q2 and Q3 need to be labelled correctly to match the updated data.”

Specific feedback helps people focus on action instead of confusion.

4. Say how you feel – use self-disclosure, not acting out

This is where Emotional Assertiveness comes into its own.

• Self-disclosure means expressing your feelings honestly and appropriately.

• Acting out means expressing emotion unhealthily through behaviours such as snapping, sarcasm, avoidance, or guilt-tripping.

Example:

• Acting out: “You’ve embarrassed me in front of the team!”

• Self-disclosure: “I felt embarrassed in the meeting when the report didn’t include the latest data.”

The difference? Self-disclosure invites understanding and connection. Acting out just fuels unhealthy conflict.

5. Say clearly what you want and by when

Don’t dance around it, be direct and practical. Tell them what needs to change, how, and by when.
Example: “Please rework the slides with the updated data and send them to me by 3 pm tomorrow.”

Vagueness breeds inaction. Clarity builds accountability.

6. Explain the consequences of non-compliance

People deserve to know the ‘why’. Explaining the consequence isn’t a threat, it’s transparency.
Example: “If we don’t have the correct data, the client presentation may lose credibility and delay approval.”

When people understand the impact, they’re more motivated to act.

7. Finish by obtaining an agreement to change

Ask for a clear commitment. It shifts the conversation from instruction to collaboration.
Example: “Will you send the revised slides by 3 pm tomorrow?”

If there’s hesitation, explore what’s blocking them. Agreement builds accountability and ownership.

8. Reiterate praise

End on a positive note. Remind them of their strengths or express confidence in their ability to improve.
Example: “I know you care about the quality of your work, and I trust you’ll get this right.”

Why? Because the last thing someone hears is what they’ll remember. You want them walking away feeling capable, not crushed.

Constructive criticism isn’t about tearing someone down, it’s about helping them grow. Delivered with Emotional Assertiveness, it builds confidence, improves performance, and keeps relationships healthy.

So, next time you need to address an issue, remember: stay calm, be kind, be clear, and keep it about the work, not the person. Do that, and you’ll turn uncomfortable conversations into powerful moments of growth.

Ready to strengthen your leadership skills with Emotional Intelligence? Book a call to explore mentoring or a tailored workshop designed to help you lead with confidence and compassion.