Don’t be an arse, be inspiring!

Lately I’ve been reminded how damaging it can be when leaders rely on criticism and control as their only tools. It’s the classic “accountability-only” approach, where the focus is on errors, deadlines, and performance gaps, but with no space for empathy or connection.

The problem? When leaders show up this way, relationships weaken, trust disappears, and culture suffers. If you’re smart, you’d know that’ll cost you a ton in the long run, if not crush you!

What if we flipped it though?

What if, instead of leading with the iron fist, we chose to lead with emotional intelligence? That means slowing down, asking better questions, and recognising the humans behind the work.

When something doesn’t go to plan, instead of rushing to criticise, ask yourself:

• What would happen if I showed compassion right now?

• What would happen if I built this relationship instead of chastising?

In reality, and I’m not talking TOWIE or LOVE ISLAND, emotionally intelligent leaders create more resilient teams. They don’t ignore mistakes, but they know that mistakes are opportunities for growth, not weapons for blame.

One of my favourite shifts is this: instead of asking “What do you think?” (which often brings out what’s wrong), I ask “What do you like about this?” It changes the tone instantly. Negatives can still be addressed, but through a lens that motivates rather than demoralises.

A culture driven by emotional intelligence doesn’t reduce people to “accountability.” Instead, it nurtures responsibility, cooperation, and authentic connection, the things that inspire people to give their best, not because they’re forced to, but because they choose to!

So here’s my advice:
Don’t be an arse. Be inspiring.

Your team will thank you, your culture will flourish, and results will follow, not because people are scared of failing, but because they feel valued enough to succeed!

If you want to transform your arsey-ness to inspiring-ness, get in touch! 

In the meantime, here are a couple of reads that I can recommend:

Fore-Play, Fair-Play and Foul-Play by Professor John Parr

Compassionate Accountability® by Nate Regier P.h.D

Enjoy!