What Am I Believing About What’s Going On?
Have you ever found yourself spiralling after a tense email, an awkward meeting, or a job that’s not quite going to plan? You’re not alone. It’s something I see all the time in business – and, let’s be honest, something I’ve caught myself doing more times than I care to admit.
But, here’s the golden question I’ve learnt to ask when things start feeling heavy:
“What am I believing about what’s going on?”
Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But this little question packs a serious punch when it comes to clearing the fog, cutting the drama, and getting back to what really matters – results, relationships, and wellbeing.
Let’s dig into why this matters and how you can use it to bring more clarity, connection and calm into your business.
Beliefs vs. Facts: There’s a Difference
Let’s say a client suddenly goes quiet. Emails go unanswered, deadlines pass, and you start filling in the gaps:
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“They’re not happy.”
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“They don’t value the work.”
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“I’ve messed something up.”
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“They’re going to pull the contract.”
Stop. Breathe. Ask: “What am I believing about what’s going on?”
Because unless you know what’s happening, all of that is just a story. A made-up narrative your brain creates to try and make sense of uncertainty. But the problem is, the brain doesn’t always get it right – especially under pressure.
Before you know it, you’ve lost hours in worry, started resenting the client, maybe even drafted an emotionally-charged response. Sound familiar?
When we don’t check in with our beliefs, we risk responding to stories instead of situations – and that’s where relationships break down, confidence takes a hit, and unnecessary drama unfolds.
The Same Goes for Team Relationships
You ask a team member to do something, and it’s not done how you’d hoped. You feel let down, frustrated, maybe even a bit undermined. Then come the beliefs:
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“They don’t listen.”
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“They don’t care.”
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“I can’t rely on them.”
And suddenly, your tone changes. You micromanage. You start distancing yourself. The vibe? It shifts. All because of an unchallenged belief.
But what if they were overwhelmed? Misunderstood the task? Lacked the right tools? You don’t know until you ask – and to ask, you first need to pause and reflect.
As Stephen R Covey says, “Seek first to understand…”
Don’t Forget the Self-Talk
And perhaps most importantly, let’s talk about how you speak to yourself.
That internal chatter when you drop the ball, miss a deadline, or feel like you’re just not keeping up:
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“I’m rubbish at this.”
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“I’ll never be successful.”
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“Other people would’ve handled this better.”
Again – pause.
“What am I believing about what’s going on?”
Because beliefs like these can slowly chip away at your confidence, your creativity, and your capacity to bounce back. And once that inner belief takes root, it spreads. You start second-guessing everything, playing small, or pushing yourself way beyond healthy limits to “prove” you can cope.
It’s not sustainable. And it’s definitely not kind.
Beliefs Shape Behaviour
The reason this question is so powerful is because our beliefs drive our reactions.
If I believe someone is out to undermine me, I’ll get defensive.
If I believe I’m not good enough, I’ll overcompensate or shut down.
If I believe people don’t care, I’ll stop showing up with the same energy.
But when we pause to question the belief – and ask whether it’s fact or fiction – we give ourselves the space to respond with intention.
That’s how we shift from chaos to clarity.
So, What Can You Do?
Here are a few simple steps you can try when things get a bit wobbly:
1. Catch the Belief
Next time you feel emotionally charged, name the belief. What story are you telling yourself about the situation?
2. Challenge It
Is it definitely true? Could there be another explanation? Would you say this to someone you care about?
3. Reframe It
Instead of “They don’t care,” try “Maybe something else is going on – I’ll check in.”
Instead of “I’m failing,” try “I’m learning through a tough patch – and that’s OK.”
4. Communicate
Whether it’s with a client, a colleague or yourself, clear, kind and open communication is your best bet. Ask questions. Seek clarity. Own your part – but don’t take on what isn’t yours.
What You Believe Shapes Your Business
Your beliefs don’t just affect how you feel – they affect how you lead, how you serve clients, and how you show up every day.
So ask yourself regularly:
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Am I operating from fear or trust?
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Am I assuming the worst or staying curious?
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Am I building bridges or burning them?
Because talking badly to yourself, your team, or your clients never got anyone a good result.
But slowing down, checking in, and leading with clarity? That’s where the magic happens.
Need help working through tricky client dynamics, internal communication or belief-led blind spots? That’s what we’re here for. At Flo Right Business Solutions, we don’t just sort strategy, operations and marketing – we help businesses operate with more clarity, confidence and connection with human at the centre of everything we do!
Let’s get your business Flo Right – inside and out.
Thanks for reading!
With Appreciation
